Two Liners

Judge: Why did you hit your husband with a chair?"
Wife: "I couldn't lift the table."

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"What did one ghost say to another?"
"Do you really believe in people?"

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Why they call our language the mother tongue?
Because the father seldom gets to speak.

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When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.

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"Where did you get those big eyes?"
"They came with the face."

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I went alone on our honeymoon, My wife had already seen Niagara Falls .

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But the psychiatrist really helped me a lot.
I would never answer the phone, because I was afraid.
Now I answer it whether it rings or not.

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It was love at first sight.
Then I took a second look!!

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"Do you think I"ll lose my looks as I get older?"
"Yes if you're lucky."

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A modern artist is one who throws paint on canvas, wipes it off with a cloth and sells the cloth.

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"Has there been any insanity in your family?"
"Yes, doctor. My husband thinks he's the boss."

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I should have become a doctor.
I had the handwriting for it.

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